I hear this often, and my heart splits every right time. My first response is, “Default to love. Simply like your little one unconditionally.”

 

 

 

We’ve all been blindsided with raising kids in a digital world. After I demonstrate this to moms and dads and assure them that perhaps very good youngsters help make mistakes on the net, I ask calmly, “Possess you actually reviewed nude photographs with your kids?”

 

 

 

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Almost always, the response is: “I didn’t know I had to.”

 

 

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Kids are Growing Up in a World Where Sending Nudes is the Norm

 

 

 

It seems like common sense to us, as parents: don’t take, Redhead Teen Lingerie Nude Pics send or ask for a picture without clothes on. The fact that we don’t have this conversation with our kids tells me we don’t understand their culture. Perform we want to state it really?

 

 

 

They are growing up in a different world. Everything is snapped, posted and share usuallyd. Youngsters are right now strolling into bathrooms, locker rooms, dressing areas--every “safe” space--with a camera in their back pocket.

 

 

 

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Photos can be taken in locker rooms and posted to social media where there could accidentally be another undressed student in the background. During a sleepover, a girl can be caught in a bedroom mirror as she’s changing, but no one notices until it’s been Snapchatted and screenshot.

 

 

 

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Girls walk around with the fear of being upskirted. Years ago, it had been children searching skirts with a mirror upwards, but today the phone is angled just right to capture videos that can be uploaded and shared with the world.

 

 

 

At the same time kids cannot escape cameras being everywhere, they are growing up in a porn-saturated world also. What once was a covert operation to sneak a magazine is now a swipe of a screen where highly-sexualized videos are available. If you have a middle school child and have a healthy dialogue, you know their buddies are telling them what kind of porn to Google usually. All of this working together desensitizes our kids and normalizes nudes.

 

 

 

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What You Need to Know About Kids Sending Nudes

 

 

 

The mainstream media often refers to this trend as sexting-a combination of the words sex and text. They can direct message (“DM”) the nudes, and because of privacy regulations, many app-monitoring services can’t track the direct messages. It’h in addition mistaken for families because youngsters don’d seriously sext now days. I think that term is outdated. They know you’re monitoring their texts so they typically share nudes within apps because it’s easier to hide and more difficult to track.

 

 

 

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According to one survey, “[Sixty-six percent] of teens and young adults … have received a sexually explicit image and 41% possess sent one.”[1] I think it’s higher from what I’m seeing on the frontlines. That’h from a study research in 2016, and we know that technologies steps faster than study always.

 

 

 

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We tend to think that girls are the only ones who are sending nudes. Males send nudes called dick photos furthermore. Sigh. How gentlemanly of them to place themselves out there primary. But that isn’t the case. (Don’t cringe. You need to know this.) Often, children will send dick photos first of all to entice the young girls to send them.

 

 

 

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In some geographical locations, sending nudes is referred to as trading cards. You know, like how we used to trade baseball cards.

 

 

 

People have shared stories with me about eighth-grade girls saying,

 

 

 

“If you haven’t been asked for a nude by now, you’re lame kinda.”

 

 

 

Did you catch that?

 

 

 

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Our world is telling our baby girls that they should want to be asked for a nude because it validates their beauty, popularity, and desirability. Kids crave validation and being asked for a nude tells a girl she’s good enough.

 

 

 

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When our kids get manipulated into actually swapping nudes, I would like you to guess about this furthermore. Can you imagine what that is doing to our youngsters’ brains? Now, it’s the kid sitting next to you in math class. When we up had been rising, pornography had been a pin-up supermodel you’m in no way meet up with.

 

 

 

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When we begin to understand their culture, we can see how kids could get caught up in this new fad of sending nudes.

 

 

 

So, what do we carry out?

 

 

 

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Many parents will say, “Just don’t give your child a phone.”

 

 

 

I did that, at first, but my daughter was exposed to pornography at the fourth-grade lunch table. She had been nine.

 

 

 

Your kids don’t need a phone to be exposed to online dangers.

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My daughter is now seventeen, and it’s been eight years of parenting through digital will besues. We’ve learned a new complete whole lot.

 

 

 

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The solution and first line of defense is: open communication. It’s about having healthy, on-the-go conversations about everyday questions our kids struggle with. Real issues in real time.

 

 

 

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There are also great tools to supplement the conversations. Be in your kids’ online world and follow them on social media. Do random phone checks. Yes, subscribe to those monitoring services. Implement a phone contract with clear consequences and guidelines. Set restrictions and phappen to bental controls.

 

 

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All of these things are good, but they have loopholes. Restrictions will be important, but it’s more about the relationship. And honestly, if your youngster needs to cover something from you, they’ll use a friend’s phone. I always caution parents: please don’t download an app, pay $9.a month and take your hands off the wheel 99.

 

 

 

This requires us to intentionally build a culture of conversation in our homes.

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When filters and restrictions failed, open communication has kept my kids safe. App-monitoring devices aren’t catching the conversations at lunch or on the bus, but my kids are telling me all about them. I’ve witnessed this firsthand.

 

 

 

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So, how do I talk with my kids about nudes and when perform I start? It’t young than you might consider.

 

 

 

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3 Age- Appropriate Ways to Start the Conversation About Sending Nudes

 

 

 

1. Use Teachable Moments to Plant Seeds

 

 

 

Think about your toddler barging into the bathroom with a diaper on, sippy cup in aboute hand and your phone (or a tablet) in the other. I can’t. And the drool. Everywhere It’s! He comes in shouting, “Mommy! Mommy!” because you acquire no more privacy actually with a good little one, right?

 

 

 

As parents, we often miss this teachable moment with our young children. But nowadays that we learn delivering nudes will be an presssing problem by center college, we can use moments like these to plant seeds.

 

 

 

So instead of overreacting to the bathroom incident or ignoring it altogether, you can use it as a teachable moment and say to your child calmly, “Performed you recognize that phone calls for photographs? So from on now, we’re not bringing screens into the restroom.” That would be awful! We in no way consider images of folks without garments on. Oh no! What if you took a new image of mum without clothing in accidentally?

 

 

 

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You just planted a seed with your toddler for future conversations about nudes without exposing him to anything inappropriate for his age. You’re not only planting seeds, you’re having preventive conversations and laying the groundwork for more detailed discussions as your child gets older. You’re being proactive, not really reactive.

 

 

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Did you know that Good Pictures Bad Pictures Jr. teaches youngsters to present pics of their individual pieces with others never? See the 5 Rules on page 31!

 

 

 

2. Create Family Screen Guidelines

 

 

 

Along with planting seeds, create clear guidelines about screens for your kids. It is standard operating procedure in our home that no phones can be taken in the bathroom or behind closed doors like a bedroom. Thwill be seems so simple, but we didn’t grow up with anyone teaching us how to use phones so we often miss this important step.

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This helps create a “safe” space for your kids where no cameras are present and makes them think about the fact that we don’t need phones everywhere.

 

 

 

As you create these new guidelines, you’ll also have to practice what you preach. For example, one time my son was taking a bubble bath, and he looked so adorable covered in bubbles that I snapped a photo of him. I was going to text it to my husband, but my own son reminded me of our no-screens toilet tip in that case.

 

 

 

“You’re absolutely right, I said. I broke the rule, and that was a big mistake on my part. I’m sorry!”

 

 

 

Be consistent in your guidelines, and be a good model.

 

 

 

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3. Teach Your Kids to Protect Their Hearts and Minds

 

 

 

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We aren’t with our children 24/7, so we need to teach them the importance of not allowing harmful thoughts and images into their hearts and minds. They have to self-manage what they allow in.

 

 

 

Ever since our daughter’s exposure to porn in the fourth grade, my life partner and We contain been coaching our youngsters to preserve their brains and hearts. They know they’re responsible for what they look at, listen to, think about, download, search for, comment on, and participate in.

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If another kid tells my son about the hot women he saw on “Ph” (Pornhub) the night before or asks him if he wants a classmate’s nude Airdropped to him, We would like my child to consider don’t, "My parents will kill me if I look at that." Instead, I hope he’ll think, "Is this good for my heart and mind?"

 

 

 

Related: 3 Steps to Give Kids an Internal Filter

 

 

 

When my son was in elementary school, some kids at the lunch table started talking about oral sex while another young child was eating a Popsicle. They didn’t use the words common sex, but it seemed to be being described by them in detail. Yes, I’m serious!

 

 

 

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When I picked my son up from school, he informed me about it before we have been perhaps out there of the school parking lot. He said Then, “We need to know what they were talking about. What is thwill be? ”

 

 

 

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We had previously set the foundation for a conversation about this topic by talking about how babies are made, so I was ready to explain it. But as I started to answer his question, he raised his hand, put it in front of my face, and said, “STOP! I wish to protect my brain and coronary heart.”

 

 

 

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Y’all, my heart melted! My son had learned to advocate for himself and not allow pictures or details to enter his mind that he wasn’t ready for yet. I was so proud of him.

 

 

 

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Teach your kids to protect their own hearts and minds as they prepare for life in this porn and nude-saturated world.

 

 

 

Building healthy relationships is the key

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I know that, specially for mothers and dads of small children, this can all be overwhelming. You are heard by me. When I found myself wishing to move to a deserted island, I acquired to decide to encounter what seemed to be taking place and discover a method to aid my children definitely, as an alternative of remaining jammed in my frustration and anger. We want our kids to have a simpler childhood.

 

 

 

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My journey led me to the hope found in open communication. I go to sleep knowing that no matter what my kids see online or hear from friends, they shall come home and ask me. That has been so freeing and empowering! Now, I don’p proceed to cargo area at evening having to worry about what my children possess long been uncovered to.

 

 

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Technology is exposing our kids to new dangers. Experience chat and courage with your youngsters inside age-appropriate techniques. Plant seeds early, established rules and coach them precisely how to protect their brains and minds. Instead of being overwhelmed, spend that period serving in and constructing a healthful romance with your youngster. I hope you’ll be empowered, as I’ve end up beingen, when you observe open connection does keep our children low risk actually!

 

 

 

Some of the above has been taken from Mandy Majors’ new book, Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World: A Solution That Works.

 

 

 

[1] Josh McDowell Ministry and Barna Group, The Porn Phenomenon: The Explosive Growth of Pornography and How It’s Impacting Your Church, Life, and Ministry (Plano, TX: Josh McDowell Ministry, 2016), cited in Chrissy Gordon, “Key Findings in Landmark Pornography Study Released,” Josh McDowell Ministry, January 19, 2016, www.josh.org/key-findings-in-landmark-pornography-study-released/. Used by permission in Keeping Kids Safe in a Digital World.